I don’t remember all of the details, but we ended up watching a movie and firing up some 420. At the end of the night, Mike invited me back to his place to chill. One Friday after work, a group of us stopped by a local watering hole to tie a few on. On the job, I got to know one of the guys who was a little older than me. “I was 21-years old and spent most of the summer working construction to make extra money for college.
Remember, orientation is not always black or white. Our hope is to help men who are trying to come to terms with their sexuality. To gather their narratives, we asked the Guy Counseling community to come forward and share.įirst names are used to protect their identities. What follows are 25 first gay experiences stories as told by men who identify as straight. STRAIGHT MEN SHARE TRUE FIRST GAY EXPERIENCES Given interest in this topic, we thought it might be helpful to share some of these with readers.īelow is a podcast (E17) that features an email from a listener who identifies as straight but recently found himself attracted to another man at his gym. While many websites tend to eroticize such encounters, few offer first hand, true stories of these gay experiences. According to scientific research, something like 7-8% of men who identify as heterosexual has had some type of same sex-experience. Looking for first gay experiences stories? If so, you wouldn’t be alone.
With thanks to Louise Kelly, information officer at Stonewall (08000 50 20 20).įurther reading and resources: /help-advice/coming-out-0. If necessary, have that person with you when you come out to others.ġ0 If you suspect someone you know is LGBT, remember that you cannot – and should not – force them to come out, but you can foster an environment where the person feels supported and safe to do so. This could mean coming out to one person whom you trust and are reasonably confident will be supportive. If you want to come out to one family member at a time, remember to tell them that as you share your news.ĩ If you are not sure of how certain significant people in your life may react, it’s a good idea to build a support network around you first. If you don’t want everyone to know at once, consider using more old-fashioned methods of communication. While you should use whichever medium you feel most comfortable with – face-to-face, phone call, text, email, social media – it’s worth bearing in mind that some offer more privacy than others.
So it’s important so think about this when choosing how to do it. This allows the recipient time to get used to the news, but you still retain control of the situation.Ĩ Staying in control of the news should always remain with the person who is coming out. First reactions aren’t always lasting reactions.ħ If you are really nervous about coming out to family or friends, consider writing them a letter telling them, then follow up with a phone call or visit. Remember that coming out may be more of a process than an event.Ħ If family or friends react in a negative way, it won’t necessarily be how they always feel. Pick a quiet, calm time when you tell people, which will give you all time to talk about it. If at all possible, get the support of your ex-partner and tell the children together.ĥ Allow people to be shocked and to need time to take the news in – be sensitive to their feelings, too. If you are coming out to your children, remember to remind them that you are still the same person, that you still love them and that you still feel the same way about them. Older people – especially those in a heterosexual relationship and maybe with children – may have different dilemmas. Younger people can be more concerned about reactions and acceptance among their peer group, and worry about whether or not they might be bullied. It’s also perfectly OK to say that you need time to process the information, but try to communicate at the same time that your feelings towards the person who has come out to you have not changed.Ĥ Worries and concerns may vary according to how old you are. So if someone comes out to you, one of the best ways to respond is to say, “I still feel exactly the same about you.” Key concerns are that they won’t be accepted or will be seen differently. 3 Many people worry about other people’s reactions.